Book Burn 2016 #4: The Martian by Andy Weir

A good friend recommended The Martian just before I started seeing advertisements for the movie.

It's a good, suspenseful novel with a likable narrator. It was clearly written with a movie adaptation in mind, and sometimes that bothers me just a little bit but not enough to spoil the experience.

I would hate to put together a dresser or any kind of furniture with Mark Watney. He would probably end up figuring out a way to use fake wood and plastic into a universal translator or a water reclaimer. And I'd just be sitting there, moping, like, "Dude, I just want somewhere to put my Hulk statue."

Book Burn 2016 #3: Black Panther by Christopher Priest: The Complete Collection, Vol. 1

BY CHRISTOPHER PRIEST AND MARK TEXERIA, ET AL.

Dude. I was so thrilled when I learned Marvel was finally collecting Christopher Priest's Black Panther run. Unless I'm very mistaken, until these collections, Marvel had reprinted only the first twelve issues of Priest's 62 issue run (in two trades: Black Panther, Vol. 1: The Client and Black Panther, Vol. 2: Enemy of the State), and I owned them both. I was glad to have them but there was so much more from Priest's run that deserved reprinting. As days go by and more stories surface about Black Panther's involvement in the film Captain America: Civil War as well as 2018's Black Panther, it's clear to me that at least one of the reasons Marvel chose to finally give this run the treatment it deserves is that Priest's interpretation of the ruler of Wakanda will prove key source material for the Black Panther of the films.

Priest's Black Panther wasn't always perfect. His Pulp-Fiction-esque storytelling style can be confusing and there are times you end up wondering why - in spite of how enjoyable a character he is - narrator Everett K. Ross seems to be much more of a focus than the guy whose name is on the cover of the comic,

But even now, over a decade later, I find Priest's approach to superheroics refreshing. He invests heavily in all of his flawed, rich characters. Black Panther is clearly a bad-ass, but Priest is modest with his hero. Panther doesn't win every fight and he never comes off as the Best There Is At What He Does. Black Panther was often criticized for a lack of action, but I never had a problem with more political intrigue and less fisticuffs. And when things devolve into fisticuffs, Priest is serious about it. Fights between Panther and villains like Kraven the Hunter and Killmonger are fierce, brutal, and absent the usual super-hero banter.

The second volume of this collection is already out and in my shelf. The third volume is scheduled to be released in April. I would be very surprised if those other two volumes don't make their way onto this list by the end of the year.

Book Burn 2016 #2: Planet Hulk: Warzones! and Future Imperfect: Warzones!

Planet Hulk: Warzones! by Sam Humphries and Marc Lanning, et al.

Even if don't read comics, there's a good chance you've heard of the original Planet Hulk storyline (and if not, you can read my review), There was a direct-to-DVD animated feature based on the story, and ever since it became clear that the Marvel Cinematic Universe was here to stay there have been rumors that the story would get a live action adaptation.

But in spite of the name and the setting, Hulk isn't really the main character in Planet Hulk: Warzones! Instead, a rugged and scarred gladiator Steve Rogers takes center stage. The many strange, crazy realms of Battleworld include Greenland: a land ruled by tribes of green, red, and gray hulks. Rogers and his warbound partner Devil Dinosaur are offered the opportunity to free themselves from bondage and to save the life of Rogers's old partner Bucky if they will infiltrate the savage Greenland and assassinate the Red King. Doc Green - an intelligent and certainly more Machiavellian version of the Hulk - leads them through Greenland to the Red King's doorstep.

Planet Hulk: Warzones! surprised me. I expected it to be fun, and it is, but there are some unexpected layers to the story. Doc Green presents the idea of being Hulk as more than a physical condition to Rogers, but a philosophy; a conscious way of being. At the same time, Sam Humphries digs into the unexpected parallels and similarities between Hulk and Captain America. Toward the end of the series, I kept thinking of Grant Morrison and J.G. Jones's Marvel Boy, when they merged the two characters into one monosyllabic flag-clad brute. And at the same time, Humphries integrates bits and pieces of the original Planet Hulk story in clever ways.

Future Imperfect: Warzones! by Peter David and Greg Land, et al.

Like Planet Hulk: Warzones!, this was a Secret Wars mini based on a past Hulk story.

It also happened to be a series with a super-villain protagonist, so I reviewed it as part of my column It Takes A Villain over at Trouble With Comics. Rather than reviewing it here, I think a link to the column would suffice.

Book Burn 2016 #1: Lord of the Rings

Distraction is an enemy. Possibly my fiercest and most resilient.

I have habits I like. I have habits I hate. Most of the habits I hate - like binge-watching shows on Netflix or playing video games - are, like many things in life, just fine in moderation.

Sometimes I forget that I love to read, and instead I play Fallout 4 for days or just keeping slamming the "Play Next Episode" button for West Wing or Supernatural or whatever series I'm letting my inner completist go crazy on that week.

Reading, to me, is like a nutritious, filling, healthy gourmet meal. Video games and TV shows (with some notable exceptions) are junk food. And that's fine. But I need more real food than garbage.

This year, I wanted to combat my tendency toward distraction and one of my tactics was to keep a "Book Burn 2016" list. The list is on a legal pad. The pad is snapped to a clipboard and hung on my home office wall.

Now, I don't think reading is something to brag about. But, I have to admit that while I don't think reading is something to brag about, my feelings don't always agree. I figure if stroking my ego helps battle this distraction, then I'll stroke like, well, like I do it professionally.

So, I'm going to review every single graphic novel, prose novel, nonfiction book, short story collection, poetry book, or play I read this year.

I was originally going to do this as one long post at the end of 2016. Like, I would just keep adding to the post and saving it as a draft until the end of the year. Yesterday, a good friend asked why the hell I would do something like that. Who would want to read a post that long of Hulk knows how many reviews?

So, I'm not going to do that. I'll review them one-by-one. And many, like today's, will hardly even be reviews. Just a couple paragraphs. A few thoughts. A couple jokes. And a picture. Because pretty.




The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

A few years ago I decided to start a tradition of making Lord of the Rings the first thing I read every year. On one hand because these were the books that made me realize I wanted to be a writer. On another, because I just wanted a tradition. I don't have many; at least not deliberate ones. You could say I have a "tradition" of losing socks and scissors, but that's not something I really schedule.

I don't have a precise count, but at this point I must have read Lord of the Rings beginning-to-end 6 or 7 times. Every time I get excited as the Fellowship approaches the gates of Moria, easily my favorite part of the trilogy. Every time I tear up at Sam's final quote. Every time I tell myself I won't skip the songs this time and I get maybe a third of the way through Fellowship before I say, "Fuck this, I'm skipping the songs." Every time I see something I didn't see in a previous reading. This time I realized that Sauron is, actually, the bad guy.

Hulk News You Need - 10/16/15

THOR INVITES HIS BETTER TO THOR: RAGNAROK

It's been in the rumor mill for a few days and now Deadline is reporting that Mark Ruffalo is in talks with Marvel Studios to appear in Thor: Ragnarok as Bruce Banner/The Hulk.

Along with his supposed potential appearance in the third Thor film, Bruce Banner is heavily rumored to meet Thor somewhere "on a distant planet." This is more fuel for the rumor practically as old as the Marvel Cinematic Universe itself that Marvel Studios is planning something that mirrors Greg Pak's fan-favorite "Planet Hulk" storyline.

TWO THEORIES:

1.  In Avengers: Age of Ultron when Black Widow proposes they run away together, Banner says, "Where could I go where I wouldn't be a threat?

Later, the last person to see Bruce Banner as Bruce Banner (i.e., pre-transformation) before he flies away in the stealth quinjet is Black Widow; the second-to-last person is Thor. Thor blasts into Ultron's base and Banner follows him through the hole in the wall. Soon afterward, Banner frees Black Widow and asks her to go away with him somewhere. 

Taking both of these things into consideration, I wonder if Banner spoke to Thor off-screen, told him about his intention of leaving, expressed his concern that there was nowhere on Earth he could go that would keep people safe from the Hulk, and asked if Thor could both facilitate some transportation as well as keep the whole thing to himself. If that were the case, Thor would know exactly where Banner is and so would know where to go looking for help in Thor: Ragnarok.

2. There are only two Infinity Stones left we haven't seen. One of them is the time gem.

Considering Thor left Earth at the end of Avengers: Age of Ultron with the intention of learning what was going on with the Infinity Stones, it's possible if not likely Thor: Ragnarok will give us one of the remaining two stones. If so, it has at least a 50/50 chance of being the time gem.

I would be very surprised if the introduction of the time gem didn't accompany some kind of time travel story, especially since time travel is one of the few big sci-fi elements that's so far been completely unused in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

On the comic book side of things, we know that Amadeus Cho will be the new Hulk in Marvel's Totally Awesome Hulk title. We also know that Marvel's All-new, All-Different comics will prominently feature the Maestro; an evil version of the Hulk from the future.

Put all these things together...Thor vs. Maestro? Maybe? 

Hulk News You Need - 9/16/15

HULK JUST CALLED TO SAY...

Carl Sandberg's That New Carl Smell comic strip featured a Hulk confounded by romance and grammar. Check it out.

PRINCESS HULK

A reddit user recently proved he's at least 50% bad-ass Dad when he made his twin daughters a Hulk Princess birthday cake. Here's hoping the matching Prince cake was Thor.

FUN HULK PANELS IN THE PIPELINE

Yesterday in his column The Pipeline, Augie De Blieck, Jr. posted some random fun panels from his comic collection, including the above panel from Black Panther #15 and a few others featuring Hulk, She-Hulk, and some other characters (as if they mattered). 

My Response to Answers.Com: 10 Things That You Can't Say Were Great About the Star Wars Prequels, Even When You're Reaching Like Mad

I made the mistake of clicking on a link on Facebook because the title immediately pissed me off. It was "10 Things That Were Great About the Star Wars Prequels."

Before clicking on the link, I could think of one great thing about the Star Wars prequels: eventually, they ended. So even though I knew I would regret it, I followed the link and it was one of these sites that's hardly even a site. Just a collection of advertisements covering every inch with a slideshow-style article. So, I really don't even have much confidence that the "writer" who "wrote" this gave a good crap about any of it, yet the argument is so just plain undeniably wrong to me that I have to write a response, right now. Even though I got up early to get more overtime, I don't care. I need to respond to this right now. Because it's wrong. And I have to respond to its wrongness point-by-empty-point.

10. Darth Maul.

The great, red mute of the The Phantom Menace is the first "great" thing the article lists, and I suppose I would agree if I suffered from some kind of chronic memory loss. Yes, Maul certainly seemed like he would be one of the great things about the Prequels back before we all actually saw the movie. In the trailers and the TV spots, his make-up was bad-ass and that double-lightsaber looked even badder-asser, and the shots from the three-way duel between Maul, Obi-wan, and Qui-Gon looked freaking awesome.

And then he said, like, one thing the entire movie. And he died right away.

Not so great.

9. The Scale

The article calls the environments of the first films "restrictive sets," And in comparison calls the settings of the Prequels "large and immersive."

I could disagree more, but only if I obtusely decided to just disagree with basic things like the writer's use of vowels and whether or not you call sets "sets" or "breadsticks." Just to be a dick.

One of the first teasers for Revenge of the Sith featured shots from all the films - prequel and originals alike - and upon first seeing that teaser, it really struck me what bothered me about these "large and immersive" settings Lucas' CGI was creating in the prequels. 

There was a shot from A New Hope of Luke looking at the two suns of Tatooine. Not long after, there was a shot of Annakin from Attack of the Clones either right before or right after slaughtering the village of Sand People, racing over the sands of Tattooine with the two suns off in the distance.

It occurred to me then that, yes, the CGI of the Prequels was slicker, prettier, and certainly created the large scale the writer of the answer.com's article refers to.

But the shot from A New Hope looked like a guy looking at two suns. Which is what it was supposed to be. And the shot from Attack of the Clones looked like an asshole in a cartoon or a video game. It may have looked pretty, but it didn't look real. It didn't make me believe in it.

8. Qui Gon Jinn

The article rightly points out that Qui Gon Jinn was one of the best parts of the prequels. I would add that he was one of the most complex jedi characters in the films, one who actually struggled with the dogma of the system he was a part of, rather than the slogan machines characters like Yoda and the older Kenobi were. 

Which is why, of course, Lucas killed him right away.

Spoilers.

7. Kenobi's Mount, the Varactyl

The article lists the lizard Kenobi rode in Revenge of the Sith as one of the great things about the prequels.

Really? Didn't it die after, like, five minutes? Who cares? 

6. Jar Jar Binks is silent in Episode III

I don't really see how this counts as a great thing about the prequels. Minimizing something that was awful in previous films doesn't make it great. It makes it barely tolerable. 

5. The High Ground

This references the moment which made no sense in Revenge of the Sith, in which Kenobi defeated Annakin because he was, like, a few inches above him.

4. Ewan MacGregor's Lightsaber noises

The article points out that, apparently, during filming MacGregor made his own lightsaber noises during fight scenes.

Yeahthat'scuteidontgiveashit

3. Count Dooku

They actually counted this as one of the great things about the prequels. Count Dooku. The Sith whose name sounds something a toddler calls shit.

2. Saber Duels

Granted, the fight between Qui Gon, Obi-wan, and Maul in The Phantom Menace was awesome. It made the fight between Obi-wan and Vader in A New Hope look like one of the lawn rake fights between Walter Matthau and Jack Lemon in those Grumpy Old Men movies.

But it was the only saber duel in the prequels I was particularly impressed with. In particular, the final battle between Annakin and Kenobi in Revenge of the Sith was, I thought, disappointingly uninspired and unsurprising.

I'd also say that while that Phantom Menace duel was great, my favorite remains the Luke/Vader fight in Empire Strikes Back. The Phantom Menace fight is great precisely because it is so slick and carefully choreographed, whereas the duel in Empire seems much more desperate and heated and that much more engaging.

1. Darth Sidious

I will grant you that Ian McDiarmid was brilliant in his role. Though the character was not written with any kind of subtlety and it remains a mystery to me how anyone could be fooled by his "manipulations." And his "No! NO!" moment in Revenge of the Sith right before he snuffs Mace Windu was so horribly done that it was one of the two moments in the theater that the entire audience laughed out loud (the other being Vader's final, unconvincing "Nooooooo" at the end of the film).

Okay, now I have to go to work. I lost OT to slap around an article saying nice things about movies. And yet I feel it was justified.