Don't worry, I'm not selling anything.
I had a discussion a few days ago with a good friend about how to make my financial life less moronic. I won't go into all the gory details, but I do tend to overspend.
For example, most of the contributors (including Yours Truly) to Trouble With Comics are part of a private Facebook group. Ever since I announced I was working on It Takes A Villain - my column about comics in which super-villains are the protagonists - I've been buying super-villain graphic novels like there would be a freaking cut-off. Like the government had decreed no super-villain graphic novels could be bought after the beginning of September. And every time I've bought one, or two, or five, I've taken a picture of it/them and posted it to our private Facebook page. Because of this, my fellow TWC contributors have seen me post pictures of - let me go over to FB to check real quick - FOURTEEN graphic novels. Probably between $15 and $20 a piece, at least (though two of those were bought with a gift card). That's between August 31st and today (September 9th). And I don't make a lot of money, guys. That wasn't smart.
Now I don't usually go on that kind of spree. I don't shop like that habitually. But I think maybe my genuine excitement over It Takes A Villain nudged me in that direction, not to mention my work on other compulsive behaviors may have made it more tempting to indulge in an as-of-yet virgin compulsive behavior in order to make up for the lack of unhealthiness in other areas of my life.
So I mentioned to this friend of mine that I was spending all this money on books even though I already had so many unread books, so many unwatched movies, so many unplayed video games. And in fact, I pay for subscriptions to Marvel Unlimited and Netflix. I have a healthy cache of Kindle books and. oh yeah, an effing library card.
We made some good plans to get my money stuff in order. While we talked, I had an idea. I told her I would take all the prose books I hadn't read, all graphic novels I hadn't read, all the movies and TV shows on DVD I hadn't watched, and all the video games I hadn't played; and I'd put them all in one big-ass pile in my office. I'd take a picture of the pile and keep it on my phone. Every time I thought of buying something online (which is too easy, man, just too, freaking, easy), I would look at that picture, and see all the stuff I've had for years - for Yuh-HEARS - that I still haven't bothered to crack open.
But now I'm going to take it one step further. I'm going to make the reading and the reviewing of all these books, movies, TV shows, video games, and comics prerequisites for buying any more media. Win-win-win-win, right? Helps me read, helps me distract myself from life, gives me material to write about, and saves money.
Now, originally my idea was that I would have to read, watch, play all of it before I could buy anything else. But, you know, that doesn't seem realistic to me. It seems like setting myself up for failure. So we're going to make it more reasonable.
Below are the lists of all the prose books, graphic novels, DVDs, and video games that are a part of this project. I've split the non-comic books into fiction, nonfiction, and poetry/drama. I've counted the number of books in each category. I'll only let myself buy new media for that particular category if A) I can afford it and B) I've read/watched/played a certain percentage in that category; the percentage is determined by just how much crap I have in that category.
The rules:
1- I have to read 10% of my total beginning Fiction Prose count (87) before I can buy another novel, novella, or short story collection.
2 - I have to read 25% of my total beginning Nonfiction prose count (29) and my total beginning Graphic Novel count (25) in order to buy something for either of those categories.
3 - For Poetry/Drama, Video Games, and DVDs; I have to read, play, or watch the entire respective category before buying any more for any of the specific category's media.
4 - The total from my percentage always rounds up. So, for example, my total beginning count for Fiction Prose is 87, I have to read 10% of that count before I can buy a new book. That means I have to read 9 books before purchasing a new one.
4 - I can't save and then double-up. For example, let's say I read 9 fiction prose books and I choose to not buy a new fiction prose book yet. Then I read 9 more. I can't then buy two new books. My window for the first new book closed. I can only buy one.
5 - Any new media I buy is added to the total beginning count for its specific category. For example, let's say in the course of The Pile I buy 4 new Fiction Prose books. Those 4 books get added to the beginning count, 87, and is now 91. Now I have to read 10 books before buying a new one instead of 9.
6 - Nothing counts until it's reviewed.
7 - Nothing from my It Takes A Villain project is counted at all towards The Pile.
8 - A special exception will be made for the Avengers: Age of Ultron blu-ray which is necessary for an extremely important event of global consequence: The Fourth Annual Martin Marvel Movie Marathon.
If you're curious at all, here's The Pile, along with a little commentary here and there.
For some reason I sorted all of it alphabetically by title. It made sense to me at the time.
FICTION PROSE
1Q84 by Haruki Murakami
The Adventures of the Blue Avenger by Norma Howe
The Afterlife by John Updike
All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy (I don't care what the title is; I've read this guy, some people are going to die horrible)
Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner (probably from the point of view of a character from All the Pretty Horses)
Bagombo Snuff Box by Kurt Vonnegut
Bend Sinister by Vladimir Nabokov (isn't that an awesome title?)
Best American Nonrequired Reading 2009 Edited by Dave Eggers
Best American Short Stories 1989 Edited by Margaret Atwood
Best American Short Stories 1990 Edited by Richard Ford
Best American Short Stories 1996 Edited by John Edgar Wideman
Best American Short Stories 2008 Edited by Salman Rushdie
Best American Short Stories 2009 Edited by Alice Sebold
Best European Fiction 2010 Edited by Aleksandar Hemon
A Better Angel by Chris Adrian (found this in an Ocean State Job Lot and the first few sentences didn't suck)
Black and White by Jackie Kessler and Caitlin Kitredge
Black Boy by Richard Wright
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
The Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson
The Dangling Man by Saul Bellow
The Dean's December by Saul Bellow
The Divine Invasion by Philip K. Dick
Dust Tracks on a Road by Zora Neale Hurston
Empire Falls by Richard Russo
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins
Ex Heroes by Peter Clines
The First Eagle by Tony Hillerman
Flannery O'Connor: The Complete Stories by Flannery O'Connor
Flying Home by Ralph Ellison
Franz Kafka: The Complete Stories by Franz Kafka
Gay, Black, Crippled, Fat by Adarro Minton (I know this guy)
Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon
Grave Peril by Jim Butcher
The Green Hills of Earth by Robert A. Heinlein
Hart's Grove by Dennis McFadden (I know him, too)
Hero by Perry Moore
Hunting Badger by Tony Hillerman
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
Imaginalis by J.M. DeMatteis (autographed! I got to tell him about how Kraven's Last Hunt traumatized me)
Intruder in the Dust by William Faulkner
Ironweed by William Kennedy
Jack of Eagles by James Blish
Job: A Comedy of Justice by Robert A. Heinlein
Legs by William Kennedy
Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann
Look Homeward Angel by Thomas Wolfe
The Man in the Blizzard by Bart Schneider
The Man Who Sold the Moon by Robert A. Heinlein (every time I read this title, I imagine David Bowie or Kurt Cobain stumbling on the line in the song)
The Martian by Andy Weir
The Mind Monsters by Howard L. Cory
The Minority Report by Philip K. Dick
Mothers and Sons by Colm Toibin
The Mountain Lion by Jean Stafford
Northline by Willy Vlautin (this guys is awesome: READ HIS BOOKS)
The Other Side of the Sky by Arthur C. Clarke
A Plague of Demons and Other Stories by Keith Laumer
Poodle Springs by Raymond Chandler and Robert B. Parker (I can't imagine Chandler chose this title, how could you put the word "poodle" in a Phillip Marlowe title?)
The Ramayana by R.K. Narayan
Raymond Chandler's Phillip Marlowe Edited by Byron Preiss
The Red Badge of Courage and Other Stories by Stephen Crane
The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie
The Secret Agent by Joseph Conrad
Seize the Day by Saul Bellow
Selected Stories of Lu Hsun by Lu Hsun (I have no clue who this guy is)
Sir Apropos of Nothing, Book Three: Tong Lashing by Peter David
Slan by A.E. van Vogt
Solar Lottery by Philip K. Dick
Soldier's Pay by William Faulkner
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Other Stories by Robert Louis Stevenson
Sum of Her Parts by Susan Wheeler Capozza (I know her!)
Superheroes Edited by John Varley
Supermen: Tales of the Posthuman Future Edited by Gardner Dozois
The Sword in the Stone by T.H. White
The Teachings of Don B. by Donald Barthelme
A Thief of Time by Tony Hillerman
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
Those Who Walk in Darkness by John Ridley
Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
Ubik by Philip K. Dick
The Unteleported Man by Philip K. Dick
Valis by Philip K. Dick
The Way of Shadows by Brent Weeks
The Weapons Shop of Isher by A.E. van Vogt
We Were the Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates
Wild Cards, Vol. 2: Aces High Edited by George R.R Martin
The World According to Garp by John Irving
Unread: 87
NONFICTION PROSE
500 Essential Graphic Novels by Gene Kannenberg, Jr. (I know this guy)
America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Inaction by Jon Stewart, et al. (is humor nonfiction? I'm considering it nonfiction)
Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (I started reading this a while back and found it full-of-shit-ish, I guess I'll give it another chance)
Death in Life: Survivors of Hiroshima by Robert Jay Lifton
The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
Erotic Comics by Tim Pilcher with Gene Kannenberg, Jr. (I still know this guy, the second guy)
Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks by Ethan Gilsdorf
Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72 by Hunter S. Thompson
The Forgiveness Habit by Jo Ann Rotermund (I know her, her daughter is my best friend in the multiverse)
The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell
How to Read Superhero Comics and Why by Geoff Klock
I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
Impetuous Sleeper by Donald Morrill (I know this guy, he taught me stuff)
Marvel Comics: The Untold Story by Sean Howe
Not-Knowing: The Essays and Interviews by Donald Barthelme, Edited by Kim Herzinger
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
The Second World War: The Gathering Storm by Winston Churchill
The Second World War: Their Finest Hour by Winston Churchill
The Second World War: The Hinge of Fate by Winston Churchill
The Second World War: Closing the Ring by Winston Churchill
The Secret History of Wonder Woman by Jill Lepore
She Comes First by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. (an ex who liked receiving and not giving so much asked me to buy this years ago)
Six and Eleven: A Television News Anchor's Story by Ed Dague
Songs of the Doomed by Hunter S. Thompson
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche
The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell
The World As I See It by Albert Einstein
Unread: 29
POETRY/DRAMA
The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes by Langston Hughes
Gilgamesh translated by John Gardner and John Maier
Inferno by Dante
The Oedipus Plays of Sophocles by Sophocles
Opened Ground by Seamus Heaney
William Shakespeare: The Complete Works by William Shakespeare
Unread: 6
GRAPHIC NOVELS
Astro Boy, Vol. 8 by Osamu Tezuka
Astro City: Through Open Doors by Kurt Busiek and Brent Anderson, et al.
Batman: The Dailies 1943-1946 by Bill Finger and Bob Kane, et al.
Black Panther by Christopher Priest: The Complete Collection, Vol. 1 by Christopher Priest and Mark Texeria, et al.
The Divine by Asaf Hanuka and Tomer Hanuka, et al.
Essential Warlock, Vol. 1 by Roy Thomas and Gil Kane, et al.
Fred the Clown by Roger Langridge
Hawkeye, Vol. 4: Rio Bravo by Matt Fraction and David Aja, et al.
Henry & Glenn Forever & Ever by Tom Neely, et al.
Hulk: World War Hulk - X-Men by Cristos Gage and Andrea Divito, et al.
Incredible Hulk Omnibus, Vol. 1 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, et al.
Incredible Hulk: Crossroads by Bill Mantlo and Sal Buscema, et al.
Iron Fist Epic Collection: The Fury of Iron Fist by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, et al.
Kenk by Richard Poplak
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind Vol. 1-4 by Hayao Miyazaki
New Lone Wolf & Cub Vol. 1-3 by Kazuo Koike and Hideki Mori
Path of the Assassin, Vol. 3: Comparison of a Man by Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima
Preacher: Gone to Texas by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, et al.
Preacher: Until the End of the World by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, et al.
Preacher: Ancient History by Garth Ennis and Steve Pugh, et al.
Preacher: Dixie Fried by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, et al.
Reinventing Comics by Scott McCloud
Rising Stars, Vol. 3: Fire and Ash
Sasquatch Edited by Josh Howard and Jim Resnowski
Swan, Vol. 1 by Ariyoshi Kyoko
The Undertaking of Lily Chen by Danica Novgorodoff
Young Gods & Friends by Barry Windsor-Smith
Unread: 26
VIDEO GAMES
Assassin's Creed: Rogue
Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea, Part 2
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
Unplayed: 4
DVDS
All-Star Superman
The Fighter
Flight of the Conchords, Season Two
Memoirs of a Geisha
Pan's Labyrinth
Samurai Reincarnation
Stan Lee's Mutants, Monsters & Marvels
The Warrior
The Yes Men
Thundercats, Season One, Volume One
Unwatched: 10
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